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Nosotros all have life events that distract usa from work from time to fourth dimension — an ailing family unit member, a divorce, the expiry of a friend. Y'all tin can't expect someone to exist at their best at such times. But as a director what can you lot expect? How can yous support the person to take care of themselves emotionally while as well making certain they are doing their work (or every bit much of it equally they are able to)?

What the Experts Say
Managing an employee who is going through a stressful period is "one of the real challenges all bosses confront," says Linda Hill, professor at Harvard Business School and author of Being the Boss. Most of united states effort to keep work and home dissever, merely "we all accept situations in which our personal and professional lives collide," and how you handle these situations with your employees is often a test of your leadership. You need to be empathetic and empathetic while also being professional and keeping your squad productive. It'due south a fine line to maintain, says Annie McKee, a senior fellow at the University of Pennsylvania Graduate School of Education and author of How to Be Happy at Work. Here'south how to manage an employee going through a personal crisis.

Brand yourself available
"People don't always experience comfortable telling their boss" that a parent is gravely ill or that they feel stressed out in the wake of a crumbling relationship, says McKee. They may be too overwhelmed, or embarrassed that it is causing them to be late repeatedly or to miss deadlines. Often a manager's starting time challenge is simply recognizing the warning signs that an employee is going through a difficult time. Invest time in building proficient relationships with employees so you'll be able to observe any problems early on. If you maintain an temper of pity in the office, people are more likely to proactively come to you when they're going through a tough flow.

Don't pry
As a leader, y'all need to exist able to show empathy and care, but you also must avoid becoming an employee'southward personal confidante. After all, your task as manager is not to be the office shrink. So don't ask a agglomeration of questions about the employee's problems. Equally the person with more power in the relationship, the employee may feel compelled to tell you more they're comfortable with. "Y'all want to build a caring relationship with employees, not a friendly human relationship," says Hill. Many managers make the mistake of confusing being liked with being trusted or respected. A good managing director "has the power to read and sympathize other people'due south needs and concerns," says McKee, while however keeping everyone focused on the major job at mitt: accomplishing piece of work.

Heed first, suggest 2d
When you speak to an employee about their electric current struggles, "listen first instead of immediately advocating for some particular course of action," says Hill. They may just want a sounding board about the difficulties of caring for a sick relative or an opportunity to explain why a divorce has affected their attention span. If you immediately suggest they have a get out of absence or adjust their schedule, they may exist put off if that'south not what they were thinking. Instead, ask what both of you can practice together to address the issue of performance during the difficult catamenia. "Try to use the discussion 'we,'" advises Hill, equally in "How can we back up yous?" The employee may have an idea for a temporary arrangement — some time off, handing off a project to a colleague, or a more flexible schedule for a few weeks — that is amenable to you.

Know what you can offer
You may be more than willing to requite a grieving employee several weeks of leave, or to offer a woman with a loftier-take a chance pregnancy the power to work from home. Merely the conclusion isn't always yours to make. "You may be very compassionate but yous may be in a company where that's non the way information technology works," says Colina. Of course, if y'all have the leeway to get creative with a flexible schedule, an adjusted workload, or a temporary work-from-dwelling house system, do what you lot retrieve is best. But likewise be sure you lot understand your company'due south restrictions on curt- and long-term go out, and what, if whatever, bureaucratic hurdles be before promising anything to your employee. Explicate that you lot need to check what'southward possible earlier you both commit to an organization.

If the employee needs counseling or drug or booze services, there may exist resources provided past your visitor's medical insurance that you tin recommend. But investigate the quality of those resources kickoff. "The concluding affair you desire to do is send a suffering employee to avail themselves of a plan or supposedly helpful people who then fall short," says McKee.

Check in regularly to make sure they're doing ok
Whether you've settled on a solution yet or not, check in with your employee occasionally by dropping by their desk (keeping their privacy in mind) or sending a brief email. Not only will your employee appreciate that y'all intendance, y'all'll go a improve sense of how they are coping. "You lot can merely ask, 'Practise you experience like you lot've got a handle on it?,'" says Hill. "And if they practice, y'all tin can say, 'Let'south simply go along in touch so neither 1 of u.s. has besides many surprises. Or if you become a little over your head, I hope you'll feel costless to come to me and nosotros can do some more problem solving and make further adjustments if necessary.'"

Consider workload
You also have to consider whether prolonged absences volition adversely touch clients or team members. If so, mitigate those risks by easing the person's workload. If at that place are people who are willing and able to have on some of the individual's projects, you can exercise that temporarily. Simply be sure to reward the people who are stepping in. And and so set timelines for any adjustments y'all make. If the person knows that their state of affairs volition last for 6-8 weeks, gear up a deadline for you lot to meet and discuss what will happen adjacent. Of course, many situations will be open up-ended and in those cases, y'all can fix interim deadlines when you lot get together to check in on how things are going and make adjustments as necessary. Whatever arrangements you make, exist crystal clear about your expectations during this time period. Be realistic about what they can accomplish and prepare goals they can meet. "For this to be useful," says McKee, "it'due south got to exist specific and it has be grounded in reality."

Be transparent and consequent
Be conscious of the fact that other employees will take note of how y'all treat the struggling colleague and will likely expect like consideration if they too come across difficult times in the time to come. "If yous want to get productive piece of work out of people, they need to trust you and believe that you lot'll treat them fairly," says Colina. Remember that policies may exist precedent-setting. Every situation will be unique, but yous desire to be comfortable with policies in case you are chosen to apply them again. Keep in heed that solutions could apply to "the adjacent person and the adjacent and the adjacent after that," says McKee.

Principles to Remember

Exercise:

  • Fix a tone of pity in the office. It will not only give your employees conviction to approach you lot with struggles, simply also requite y'all the power to spot warnings signs.
  • Be creative with solutions. A flexible schedule may permit a person to maintain their output without much disruption.
  • Check in from time to time, both to reassure the employee and to make sure that further adjustments or accommodations aren't needed.

Don't:

  • Act more similar a therapist than a manager. Your heart may exist in the correct place, only don't get involved in your employee'south personal problems.
  • Make promises yous can't keep. Research your company's policies before you offering time off or culling work arrangements.
  • Treat like situations among employees differently. Employees will note — and resent — the inconsistency.

Instance Study #1: Fix realistic work goals with the employee and consul some of their work
Alicia Shankland, a senior HR executive with more than than 20 years of experience, managed two unlike women through the intensely stressful, emotional months of fertility treatment. In both cases, the treatments continued for nearly a twelvemonth, so the women were away from work frequently for medical appointments and procedures. They also experienced severe ups and downs from the hormone drugs and the emotional devastation of miscarriages.

What'south more, the schedule of fertility treatments didn't fit neatly into any of the existing standard 60 minutes leave policies. "There was no style to make a 30-threescore-xc solar day plan to accommodate all the unknowns," Shankland said.

In each case, she endeavored to make as many allowances every bit possible, and the women used sick fourth dimension, flex fourth dimension, and personal days. She worked with each of them to ready concrete, realistic work goals that allowed them to focus on the most critical deliverables while delegating other duties, and teammates pitched in to make sure duties weren't neglected or dropped. "We managed through it as a tight-knit squad," she says.

A happy effect was that the team was well prepared to embrace for the motherhood leaves that were eventually taken by each woman. "It actually showed usa all that nosotros could play multiple roles," Shankland says. When the women returned from their corresponding motherhood leaves, they were both at "110 percent." Each had "exceptionally successful years at the company that more than made upward for the time when they needed extra easily to make it through."

Example Study #2: Deed with compassion and offering flexibility if possible
When David*, a professional at a fiscal services business firm, heard that the husband of i of his team members had been diagnosed with terminal brain cancer, he knew it was going to be a long and emotional roller coaster for her. Within weeks of the initial, grave diagnosis, doctors suggested that the cancer may not be spreading as fast as initially thought, and that the married man may take months to live, rather than mere weeks. That did little to lessen the emotional destruction. "It was and then difficult to predict," he said. It'southward such an emotional time, and "you can't inquire for a timeframe. She wants to have a diagnosis and she wants to be able to maintain a regular piece of work schedule. Merely she but doesn't know." From a manager'south standpoint, he said, "you take to take that burden off the employee."

David recognized that it would be better to offer the woman more flexibility, a shift she happily embraced. The management team restructured her chore away from her responsibilities in client services, which demanded high shut rates and availability, to duties that weren't equally time sensitive. "This provided our squad with less reliance on her and besides gave her the freedom to focus on her important family unit matters that were the priority," he said. She also agreed to switch her compensation from salaried to hourly, which allowed the firm the flexibility to behave on the arrangement indefinitely.

Ten months afterward the diagnosis, she was nevertheless with the company in the modified arrangement. "Y'all have to human activity with pity," said David, "while too beingness responsible to clients and other employees." Critical to the firm's success? Making sure they could continue to exist flexible. "Sometimes you just don't know how a situation volition end," David said. "You demand to keep an open mind."

*Not his real proper name.